I lost myself, my identity and I am desperately trying to find it.
On March 5, 2019, my husband Scott Philip Clarke, who I had known for 23 years, and for whom I was married and sealed to for all of time and eternity in the Toronto, Temple, for 21.5 years, walked out our front door and never looked back.
He never looked back……
This is hard for me to write.
I find myself going back to that day as thought it were happening right now. I don’t want to revisit it. I want to stop the memories from flooding into my mind. I feel like crying . I try to fight off the tears. I try to fight off the feelings of abandonment, loneliness, fear and sadness. I want to tell everyone how much I hate my life. How it was the worse day of my life. To know you meant nothing to the person who you cared about, loved and sacrificed so much for so he could accomplish all of his goals and dreams- so he could be happy. To be treated in such a manner, is heartbreaking. He treated me like I was a piece of paper you write on, make a mistake and then crumble up and through into the garbage bin, never to be thought of again. It is the worse feeling in the world to be treated as though you never truly meant anything to that person, that you didn’t really exist to them and could be discarded so easily. That you never made an imprint on their life, like they made one on yours.
I want to disappear from this world – never to return again.
Flash backs of that day and the days, weeks, months and years prior are still fresh in my mind. Especially the days that followed that fateful day. It will be five months on August 5, 2019 that we have been separated and my heart is still broken. How does one move on, when everything they ever known is gone in the blink of an eye. Destroyed by the selfish act of another. I want to die. My heart is broken. I don’t know why it’s broken.
During these five months of being separated from my husband a lot has happened. My husband immediately joined a dating website on Marc 5, 2019 and had already started to connect with other females one in particular who had already reached out to while he was deployed to Egypt between September 2018- January 30, 2019.
My husband, Scott was arrested and charged with three counts of assault and one count of uttering threats on March 12, 2019.
My husband made his relationship “official” on facebook on April 22, 2019.
In Search of me..... 